Why do I want a husband?
I want a husband who brings home the bacon and pays for all of my needs. One who doesn't complain when I take his credit card and use it to go on a shopping spree. One who does the taxes and use his hard earned money to keep me afloat.
I want a husband who holds my opinion on everything that goes on inside the house above his own. One who doesn't complain when I order him to lighten my load and do common house hold activities after a long day at work. One who yields to my will when I state that something is not clean enough and needs to be scrubbed again.
I want a husband who will shape his physical appearance to suit my personal desires and wear jeans that are so tight they hurt. One who massages my back whenever he has physical desires of his own but immediately answers my commands when my body needs sexual attention. One who will be attracted to me no matter how far I let my own physical appearance slip. One who will remain faithful to me even if I start to cheat.
I want a husband who compliments me at every turn and makes dinner when I don't feel like cooking. One who savors every bite of my cooking, no matter how horrible it is. One who doesn't mind when I decide to make a food that I enjoy but he hates.
I want a husband who will pay me half of his income whenever I decide I'm ready for a change of husbands. One who will give up custody of the children when we decide to separate. One who submits to my choice on whether or not I should get an abortion.
Who wouldn't want a husband?
haha. This is so true, especially the part about women wanting husbands who yield to their opinions and buy them stuff. On a side note, I am sure there are women who would prefer that the husband had custody so that they could get rid of the kids.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate that you took this to the far extreme of the concept. It was funny as well as true to the spirit of the original essay.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you portrayed the wife as viewing heself as the dominant partner in the relationship as opposed to the husband because that's how a lot of women definitely think nowadays.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your post. I thoroughly enjoyed the part about having a husband who dresses impecably according to your desires. Most women want a man who can be an accessory to her own wardrobe (;
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious. I love your description of the tight jeans and your statement about the husband being attracted to you no matter how much you let yourself go.
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